Clive on cats that look like Hitler...

Not really.

When my friend the late Alan Coren was told by his publisher that any book would sell more copies if its cover suggested that it was concerned with sport, cats or the Nazis, he personally designed the cover of his next book with a large swastika taking all the space except for the title, Golfing for Cats.

A chunk of the column is about BBC 4's new EuroCrime import, Montalbano.

A fine figure of an actor, Luca Zingaretti has a jaw which looks as if it needs to be shaved every half hour and a skull that looks as if it has never needed to be shaved at all. He is thus a fine example of the most employable category of thespian law-men, the natural baldie. Kojak, Murder One, The Shield – somewhere in this profusion of justice-related opportunities for bald actors there is an equation lurking. Could it be that baldness equals brilliance?